


He Will Do What It Takes To Survive

by coconutfred



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Non-graphic discussion of sex acts, canon compliant deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6092941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconutfred/pseuds/coconutfred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and Peter start hooking up out of boredom, their last year of Hogwarts.  They keep it up, even after they stop being bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Will Do What It Takes To Survive

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend made a typo during a conversation about Sirius and Peter, and I threatened her with this fic, and she didn't dissuade me. This is, therefore, entirely her fault.
> 
> Title from "Burn", by Lin-Miranda Manual, from Hamilton

Sirius and Peter start hooking up out of boredom, at least on Sirius' part. It's their last year at Hogwarts, and Sirius is- well, not _floundering_ , because that would imply some lack of grace, and Sirius would rather die. The only problem is that Remus is busy with NEWTs and planning internships and things for after he graduates, and you'd think James and Lily had got themselves permanently stuck together, the way they're swanning about, and most people are talking about their plans with varying levels of excitement, and meanwhile, Sirius is still sat over here without a clue what he's doing.

He's fine with it, obviously. He'll figure something out - kip in James' spare bedroom, maybe, until he gets sick of overhearing him get it on with Lily, then mosey over to bother Remus at wherever horrible place he decides to stay. Keep an ear out for something interesting to turn up and it will, eventually. Still, that doesn't get rid of the vague churning in his stomach when he listens to people talk about their futures.

Peter's the only one who doesn't make him grumpy these days.

Sirius doesn't really know why Peter hooks up with him. Other than because he's Sirius Black and why _wouldn't_ people want to hook up with him, obviously.

"Y'know, that's much less obnoxious to hear after I've come," Peter notes sleepily, and Sirius blows a raspberry at him.

-

Sirius tells James because he tells James everything, even the horrible things he wishes he didn't know about himself. He also tells Lily, since she's there when he tells James.

Lily congratulates them, and Sirius blows a raspberry at her. "'S'just blowing off steam," he says.

James pulls a stupid face. It's impressive, actually; every time Sirius looks at him, he thinks James can't do anything to make himself look stupider, and then James does. "I dunno about that," he says. "Who'm I supposed to threaten if it goes tits up?"

"You can threaten Peter and I'll handle Sirius," Lily offers.

"You couldn't," Sirius says automatically, and then winces. You'd think he'd have learned by now that you can't issue challenges to Potters. Not that Lily is a Potter, yet, even though James made Sirius suffer through six seperate ring purchasing expeditions.

He sees Peter meander into the Great Hall and decides to make his escape now, while escape is still possible. "Anyway, glad we had this chat," he says, and grabs randomly at some fruit, "gotta go see a man about a horse, and by that, I mean jerk off with Peter on your bed, Jamie, dearest."

James hollers, "If you knock him up, you'll have to marry him!", and Lily follows that with, "Name the first one after me!", because they're the worst and deserve each other.

-

It stays pretty casual over the next few years. At James' wedding, Peter sidles over and announces that he's breaking up with Sirius so that he can hit on the chef. Sirius shrugs, gives him a thumbs up, and then immediately flings himself onto Remus' back and spends the rest of the night loudly demanding Remus coddle him. 

"I'm broken hearted! Abandoned at my best friend's wedding! The only thing to soothe my tormented soul is to feed me cake."

He opens his mouth expectantly, and Remus immediately tries to pinch his tongue. "Go make James feed you cake," he says, when they're done scuffling. " _He's_ the one who knew about your secret relationship. It's not like either of you bothered to tell _me_."

Sirius reflexively gags. "It's not a _relationship_ ," he says, hurriedly. "Gross. That's Wormy you're talking about."

Remus scoffs at him, but then actually offers Sirius a bite of his cake. "I'm not the one who decided to date him," he says mildly.

Sirius is too busy chewing to gag again, but he does his best to convey the movement with his eyebrows.

Peter's chef actually turns out to be the alright sort, and he drifts away from them for a while to give her a go. Sirius doesn't mind terribly, except in the sense that before, he could have sex on a fairly regular basis with someone he liked and now he can't. He figures either Peter's chef will work out and then Sirius will find someone else, or they won't work out and then Sirius will soothe Peter's tormented soul. With his dick.

It's another one of those plans that sounds fine to Sirius' brain but makes his gut all uneasy, but the first plan is working out fine so far, so Sirius ignores that.

Then James shows up in the middle of the night, shaking and white as a sheet, and tells Sirius about a prophecy, and everything goes straight to hell.

-

Having James in danger isn't exactly new. Being best friends with James Potter meant a more or less constant state of danger - from half-thought-out spells and untested curses, from new and inventive ways to escape boredom, from being constantly overwhelmed by his stupid grin and his loyalty. Even worse, being best friends with James Potter means being friends with Lily as well, and in case nobody has thought to mention, there's a war on with a bunch of arseholes who'd like to wipe her and hers off the planet.

This is different. 

Sirius has almost always been able to face those dangers pretty quickly after they presented themselves, and definitely always had James at his side when he did. Now, James is hiding in a new safe house every week, and whenever Sirius sees him, he's pinched and scared and trying desperately to pretend he's not. They can't curse their way through the entire Death Eater army. There's no amount of distraction that can ease this. All Sirius can do is wait and worry and hope, and it's making him angry.

He pulls away from pretty much everyone. He's started seeing treachery in every face around the Order table. One of these people is selling their secrets, and putting Sirius' best friend in danger. He yells, a lot, at everyone, even at James when he's trying too hard to pretend there's nothing to worry about and makes Sirius sick. Remus yells back at first, and then sort of gives up on him.

Fuck him, Sirius thinks furiously. If Remus wants to go fuck off with- with- with whoever is more important than keeping James and Lily and their baby safe, then fuck him.

There are only two people who escape Sirius' wrath, and that's Lily herself and Peter.

Peter dumps his chef the second he hears about the prophecy, or anyway, at least Sirius never hears him mention her. He's wide eyed and looks just as scared as Sirius feels, and when Sirius yells himself hoarse at the world, Peter pulls him aside and pushes him down and gives him just a little time when he doesn't have to think.

They end up spending the nights together more often than not. During the day, there are battles to fight and places to go and desperate solutions to look up, and Sirius doesn't see much of Peter then. He shows up at Sirius' flat every night, though, and tries to make sure Sirius eats something, sits down for a while.

"You're the only nice thing in hell," Sirius mumbles once into Peter's shoulder blade, at half two in the morning after he's woken up from a dream about running away from home and knocking on James' door and having a skeleton answer, and grin at him, and then fall apart in Sirius' hands. 

Peter snores.

-

When James approaches him about the Fidelius, it seems only natural to suggest Peter. He tells James that Peter's been doing a bang-up job protecting Sirius from himself, these past few months. He's sure Peter will be able to protect Harry too.

They tell Peter together, and even though this is the most concrete plan Sirius has ever made, probably, his gut churns and churns.

-

Many years later, Sirius will tell Harry that he "just knew" something was wrong, that he went to Peter's safe house and found it empty, that that's when he knew they'd been betrayed.

It's the first lie he'll ever tell his godson.

What really happens is simply this: one day, Peter doesn't come home and then, just like that, Sirius doesn't have one any more.

In the Shrieking Shack, with his godson looking at him as a stranger, with Remus as a witness, Sirius won't be able to say any of the things he'll have thought about saying, all that time in Azkaban. He won't ask when exactly he started sleeping with a Death Eater. He won't ask if there was something Peter was waiting for Sirius to do - acknowledge them as a couple, stop acting crazy and terrified, that one thing with the paddle he'd made a face at - and if Sirius had done it, would Peter have changed his mind? 

He won't be able to accuse Peter of any crime except murder, so that's what he'll do, and the whole time, his stomach will be uneasy and hurt.


End file.
